Joe (jh) and George (gm) represent Cruci-Fetus in this interview, conducted by JMcQ . Look for the paper version of this interview to be in December/January 2004's InterStitial.

On a hot steamy day, November 22nd to be specific, I conducted an interview with emo-rock wunderkinds Cruci-Fetus. The resulting interview was so massive, I had to split it up into one seperate part. Without further adieu, here isCruci-Fetus<cruci-fetus.tripod.com/>!

James : Who are you?

jh-georgio mcsweeny

gm-jow hiles

James :is the recent coverage that Alternative Press did on your band (for the Alternative Press 100 Bands You Should Know) the largest amount of press that you’ve received? All sorts of talk has been done with saying that : bigger is best, but what do you all think : would you rather have a lot of small press extolling your virtues or someone like KROQ or Muchmusic playing a track of yours?

gm- we want any and all media attention we can get, like my mentor, Dio taught me  it's ok for adults to read Harry Potter books and like Vug of TV Eye taught me, you do enough "favors" and you're in.

jh - well alot of people have accussed us of being indie sellout elitists but i got news for you assholes, how else am i gonna support my girlfriends cocaine habit, my daddy's business only brings in enough to pay the rent and buy cigarettes and rolling rock every night so shut up, assholes!!!!!

James : Were any of you in any other bands of other size before joining The Cruci-Fetus Life?

jh-I was in genisis till phil collins became successful and i decided to try my luck at sucess as well

gm-i was a roadie for the scorpions and i was playing a lot of underground basketball at the time and , rodney james dio taught me how to play guitar/xylophone and told him he had a pretty voice.

James : Was there anything important about Dio and/or Phil Collins?

Jh : We had a musical genius in there, Phil Collins. He moved along to bigger things.

gm : You mean, you – we moved along to other things!

jh : I don’t know. The band broke up, cuz of his decision. We moved on, and we didn’t think we would, but we did.

James : Alright, sounds good. Is he helping you in any way?

jh : No, he...

gm : By not coming to our shows?

jh : He trash talks a lot, but that’s about it.

gm : He talks to me, he’s actually helped me on guitar. James : What would you say is a short, terse statement that The Cruci-Fetus tries to live by, and even more than that, how does it fit specifically into the bands life?

jh : underage girls/pedophelia/multiple kidnappings

gm-necropyronarcimidgetgrannytrannydonkeyporn and the missing childrens foundation to counteract said multiple kidnappings/traumatizationsJames : How does it fit specifically into the bands life?

jh : I’d say have fun and not try to be like everybody else. But that’s hard to do, but try as hard as you can.

gm : Play what you like. Recently we have been trying to act more – our songs are getting different and better. We are trying to throw in some trademarks. I don’t know. The Cruci-Fetus style. I don’t even know what that is.

jh : I think our style is getting more succinct. We’re not fitting into one genre, maybe. I mean, we are but then I think our true side of what we really are is coming out in new songs.

gm : Everybody is basically doing what they want to do, their own part.

James : Do you want to go through some of the originals? I know that in the review, we talked about the one original, "Save Me", but people aren’t really familiar with the new ones yet.

jh : Well, we have *Cell phone keeps ringing, no one gets it*

gm : Well, we have "Looks So Cold", which is a part of What Next. But I think we are going to keep that, because we have four of the five members. We pretty much wrote it.

jh : It’s a good song.

8c-me like how band tastes so much *me go crazy at show_gobble

gm : Yea, "Save Me" is a good one.

jh : We kind of play that song, its fun to play a bit. It reminds us of our beginnings, I guess. We have new ones, we have words, but we have been working on the music more.

gm : We really don’t have names yet.

jh : I think they are more structured.

gm : Yeah, They are more structured. The one song is really fun and happy and ...

? : The other one sounds like a movie soundtrack?

jh : it was just Kevin telling us how to play. Play this chord, and this chord, and this chord and we were like "all right".

gm : And he would grab the microphone the whole time, he really didn’t want to give anybody else a chance, not that I cared.

Will' Farrel: He was 21 though, he was cool…

gm : He could drink!

Group laughs…..

jh : said "can you feel it?" said "can you feeeeeeeeel it?"  said "baby! baaaby!" tell 'em tell 'em why dont ya tell 'em tell tell 'em, tell how i feel, tell 'em how i feel..... tell ..... them..... how i feel!

James : so what bands are The Cruci-Fetus influenced by?

gm : well, that's easy!!!!! mostly Dio. i really like Nickleback's new song, the Strokes are a new innovate band not very many people have heard of, they're great, fantastic! The Fat Tones and The Hot Valentines are great too! i'd say Modest Mouse are our biggest heroes because thy're very original and innovative. we know alot about music because we watch mtv2 unlike the preppy kids who watch mtv1, our debut album, Healing Through Crying was influenced alot by U2

jh : well for me, it's always been about The Cure and the whole emo scene. if you dont smoke cigarrettes and groove to Dashboard, you haven't live! the Strokes are great too, they're this really underground band, i dont know if too many of your readers are hip to it yet! i'm really sick and fed up of these punk and metal bands just having fun and putting on free shows, like music's supposed to be about hangin out drinkin beer or something. to me it's always been about getting dressed up, fashionably drinking smirnoff ice and smoking clove cigarettes. We really hate bands like Common Enemy and The Junkist,,,,,,,

Will Farrell : i dont even listen to much music anymore, it's kind of bad karma, these guys, Cruci-Fetus are great though, every song sounds like Pablo Honey. FANTASTIC!!!!

James : What was the impetus for including a synthesizer alongside the traditional instruments of indie and emo rock? Have you been surprised to notice some other acts stepping up and throwing in a synthesizer after the C-F did?

jh- hey, man, we're more than a band, we are serious activists!!! if all you care about is synthesisers than we're gone, buddy, just like that!!!

gm- i can't handle my life, i wanna join the navy, man, i swear i'll do it! i'll do it, man!!!! don't tell me i won't, that's makes me wanna do it more!!!!!!! hey, if you dont stop being immature.... i mean seriously....

Group breaks down in tears.......

this interview was cut short due to forest fires in new mexico and the prince charles scandal....the band was so distraught they refused to continue....and in a panic kidnapped Will Farrel no one was heard from .....